There is a little thing in the US thats been bothering me rather a lot, maybe its my British upbringing but I make no apologies for what I believe in.
I read an article a few weeks back. The story basically goes, that the eight year old girl threatened another student, she was taken from class and placed in the room way from the rest of the group. According to the school, the door is left open, students continue their work in the room and the student is free to use the toilet, have snacks and so forth while in there. The mother went to pick her child up and the child was apparently upset about being in the room and the mother took photos which she sent onto the News Channels. The child is now apparently 'traumatised' and was 'sick for three days' because of this.
Now, I must be a very, mean Mum, because if Ethan threatened another student and was put in a timeout room, I wouldn't only be supportive of the schools decision to remove him from the class, but would certainly be having words with my child to find out why the threat was made in the first place. He'd probably have to deal with much more of a consequence than a sitting in a small, quiet room.
However, the discussions that popped up from the link on the News channels Facebook page were almost always on the side of the Child and Mum. People were absolutely disgusted with what they cited as 'abuse', and talked PTSD, closing down the school and so forth. Very few people seemed to support the schools actions and I was quite surprised by the outrage involved.
A few days after I read this I linked through a friends Facebook Page to a local dog trainer. This trainer uses 'pinch' collars, shock collars and an amount of punishment in his training, along with food and toys to reward. There was plenty of support for his 'training system'. People stating that anyone who thinks dogs can be trained purely with treats for protection work, clearly knows nothing. Support for the difference that a 'pinch' collar made day to day and how their life would not be the same without it. Now before I go on, and for anyone who thinks in any way shape or form a pinch or shock collar is the best option, that is just crap. Sorry but there it is. Every being can learn new behaviours or change behaviours through positive training. If
Butterflies and
Wild Monkeys can be trained through positive training then so can your pet pooch. Yes, there is consequences to the wrong behaviour, don't let people tell you that its about letting your dog walk all over you, it isn't at all. The wrong choices still have to have a level of punishment, but the punishment is withholding food, withholding toys, or sometimes, yes a short timeout! Is it a longer journey to teach a dog not to pull using treats, rather than slapping a collar with spikes onto your pup, yes it probably is. But is that really how you want your relationship to be? One based out of pain and fear rather than enthusiasm and respect?
Does punishment work? Yes, of course it does. Cesar Milan has show years of dogs who've been scared by him badly enough that they shut down totally, learned helplessness. Its a thing! How many of you have suffered some form of learned helplessness, an overbearing teacher, parent or partner who scared you enough into saying the wrong thing that you couldn't say anything at all? Horses that have been so scared by the backing process that they just shut down and allow you to do anything to them. Does it all work? Does it all result in a seemingly compliant willing being? The quiet dog with the big eyes, walking quietly next to his person, too fearful to take an extra step in front for fear of punishment. The quiet ex cowboys horse who can carry your baby and granny, too fearful to show pain, even when he's riddled with arthritis. The perfect child, the one who never argues, too fearful to speak up in case his parents beat him, the perfect wife, all smiles and support, too fearful to see her friends for risk of angering her husband. They are all abuse.
I feel that the lines are closer here in the UK. Positive learning is shining through everywhere, dogs, horses, humans and so forth. But there also needs to be consequences, if the dog breaks his stay or your child hits a friend something should happen, whether that punishment is withholding a favourite toy or having a few minutes alone to cool down.
Of course, I realise that is by no means everyone, there are many people in the UK that allow their kids much freedom and never punish at all, then smack their dog in the face for stealing some food. There are plenty in the US who are firm fair parents and train their animals through positive training. However, is is my observation, that less consequences for children yet (still) punishment training for dogs is more widely spread and acceptable there.
My hope is that as time goes on, things will equal themselves out more over there, but sadly, Im not holding my breath.
*Article about the Time out Room http://kdvr.com/2017/11/08/mother-raises-concerns-about-elementary-schools-use-of-small-time-out-room/
